zoesque sent me a link to The Gentleman's Guide to the Calling Card earlier this evening. We promptly decided that our favorite Hyoutei boys would latch onto the notion like a very small dog to a visitor's ankle, and the following conversation ensued:Zoe: omg.
Zoe: http://artofmanliness.com/2008/09/07/the-gentlemans-guide-to-the-calling-card/
Zoe: sorry this is so random but a;lsdkfj
Zoe: hyoutei
Zoe: would
Zoe: do
Zoe: this.
Kish: ...okay before i even click that link
Kish: i must say
Zoe: fuck
Kish: that "artofmanliness.com"
Kish: is perhaps the most hyouteiful name
Kish: for a website
Kish: ever.
Zoe: oh god you don't know it?
Zoe: shit
Zoe: epic
Zoe: oh god the significance of folded corners
Zoe: alsk;dfj
Kish: lsk;dg this
Kish: is incredible
Kish: a congratulatory visit: the left hand upper corner
Kish: and you can do condolence visits
Kish: shit
Zoe: yes
Zoe: fuck
Zoe: sakaki would have calling cards
Zoe: you know he would
Zoe: and he'd like
Zoe: god
Zoe: he'd come to atobe's house at one point and use one
Zoe: and keigo'd be all
Zoe: 'oh whatevs i'm well brought up, this shit is familiar'
Zoe: except like
Zoe: someone
Zoe: (read: yuushi)
Zoe: would see the card later
Zoe: and be like
Zoe: SWEET JESUS WHAT IS THIS BOLD NEW DELIGHT I MUST KNOW
Zoe: and keigo'd be all
Zoe: "it's a calling card, you idiot. gentlemen use them. it's an old tradition dating back to --"
Kish: oh god
Zoe: "OH GOD I AM GOING HOME AND MAKING MYSELF ONE. BEST. EVER."
Kish: IT WOULD BECOME A HYOUTEI "THING"
Zoe: and you know it'd just spiral
Zoe: violently
Zoe: out of control
Zoe: from there!
Zoe: they'd invent their own folds
Kish: ;lskdfjg yes
Zoe: shishido would be like
Zoe: "okay okay, pay attention, fuckers: when the card is ripped on the side, it means you're being a dick. if it's ripped in the middle, it means you're being a dick and i'm here to punch you."
Zoe: gakuto: "FUCK YOU STOLE MY SYSTEM"
Zoe: yuushi would just fold his cards into origami
Kish: yessssss
Kish: gakuto: wtf does a crane mean yuushi.
Kish: keigo: it doesn't mean ANYTHING WHY ARE YOU ALL SO RETARDED. >|
Zoe: EXACTLY
Zoe: EXACTLY SO HARD
Zoe: and keigo would go home
Zoe: and his dad would be all
Zoe: "YOUR FRIENDS ARE RETARDED, THERE ARE TWO DOZENS TINY PAPER CRANES FOR YOU. "
Zoe: and keigo is just kind of
Zoe: caught between horror
Zoe: and amazement
Zoe: that yuushi has basically propositioned him two dozen times
Zoe: right in front of his father's nose
Zoe: oh my god
Kish: adfjkl;g
Kish: holy shiiiiiit
Kish: yes
Kish: and he keeps all of them
Zoe: of course he does.
Zoe: yuushi i imagine
Zoe: gets specific
Zoe: with his calling cards
Zoe: CRANE WITH ONE BENT WING: I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU A BLOW JOB.
Zoe: CRANE WITH TWO BENT WINGS: I WOULD LIKE TO MUTUALLY EXPERIENCE BLOW JOBS WITH YOU.
Kish: KIND OF A 69 CRANE
Zoe: YESSSSSS
Kish: GAKUTO SETS THEM UP IN SUGGESTIVE POSITIONS IN THE LOCKER ROOM
Zoe: ..;LAKSDJF;LASKDFJ
Kish: "BENT WINGS WHATEVER"
Kish: "IT'S EASIER TO TELL WHAT YOU MEAN IF THEY'RE HUMPING EACH OTHER"
Kish: little calling card crane orgies
Zoe: FUCK
Zoe: and yuushi would just look at him
Zoe: and gakuto would be like
Zoe: "OH MY GOD THEY DO MEAN SEX OH MY GOD"
Zoe: a;lsdkfja;klsdjfa;jsdfkl;jalfsd;alksdfj and i have to go to work fuck
Zoe: ok
Zoe: more on this later.
Zoe: LATER.
Kish: lka;jdflgajfdl;jgfda nooooooo oh god not work
Kish: i might dialogue at you while you're gone
Kish: because
Kish: oh god
Kish: this is INCREDIBLE.
Kish: shishido is like "okay wtf are you sending your condolences for gakuto"
Kish: gakuto: "i'm sorry your hair looked ASS the other day"
Kish: shishido: "THAT'S IT YOU'RE GETTING A FUCKING CARD RIPPED IN THE MIDDLE YOU LITTLE BITCH"
Kish: gakuto then invents a whole new set of folds and rips
Kish: based on how shishido's hair looks on any given day.
And then the following email from me, which Zoe quite hobaishly demanded:
On Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 7:45 PM, Kish <its_the_process_not_the_results@yahoo.com> wrote:
OKAY SO SHISHIDO'S HAIR
IT WOULD BE LIKE
gakuto: this one means your hair looks like it's been chewed on by a llama, and this one means that you look like a retard because you've taken your hat off and your hair's been squashed flat like roadkill
shishido: oh yeah? well this one means YOUR FACE IS SQUASHED FLAT LIKE ROADKILL YOU GIRLY LITTLE BASTARD
gakuto: DON'T CALL ME GIRLY, CALLING CARDS ARE FUCKING MANLY, TELL HIM YUUSHI
yuushi: oh you two, would an origami butterfly help you to control your rage any more effectively?
shishido: I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING SEX CARDS OKAY *STORMS OUT OF THE LOCKER ROOM*
keigo: YUUSHI STOP PROPOSITIONING PEOPLE
yuushi: people who aren't you, you mean?
keigo: *SEETHES* WHERE IS SHISHIDO AND THAT CARD OF HIS THAT SAYS YOU'RE BEING A DICK.
gakuto: and this one means shishido should wear a paper bag over his head all day.
yuushi: but the butterflies only mean i want to make peace between my teammates. :(( why does everyone insist on misinterpreting my kindly gestures.
As you were all highly amused by the Hyoutei train death convo, I suspected that this one might also hold some appeal. Okay, going back to bed now.
