Title: It's a Secret
Warnings: Utter, complete crack.
Note: Written for pillarchallenge during class last night. *shakes fist* Darn you for having themes I cannot possibly resist, even when I'm in the middle of lecture! Or thank you from the depths of my heart, one of the two.
“Buchou,” Ryoma breathed, and shivered as Tezuka slid a hand up his side onto the bare skin over his ribs.
Ryoma put his arms up and around Tezuka’s neck, pulling him down into another deep kiss. Tezuka pinned Ryoma against the clubroom wall, pausing for just a moment to bring Ryoma’s shirt up and over his head.
“Oh! Tezuka, I didn’t know you were in…here…” Oishi trailed off weakly. He fumbled behind himself for the door. “I’m sorry, I’ll just let myself out, it’s…ah…” He dropped his keyring on the floor and had to lean over to pick them up. Then he stood back up and looked uncomfortable.
“Oishi.” Tezuka’s hair was sticking out at strange angles, his cheeks were flushed, and he was breathing hard, but his tone still held a certain sense of dignity.
“Yes?” Oishi asked, too brightly. He pointedly avoided looking at Ryoma, who was standing behind Tezuka, shirtless and smirking.
“Please don’t discuss this with the rest of the team,” Tezuka said seriously. He didn’t even attempt to straighten out his hair, which somehow made the situation both more comical and more disturbing at the same time.
“Of course not!” Oishi said vehemently. Ryoma opened his mouth to say something. He stopped when Tezuka glanced at him. “Of course not,” Oishi repeated. Tezuka nodded. Ryoma let out a short laugh. Oishi hurried his way back out the door, trying to ignore the loud thud and moan he heard when he was a step or two away from the clubroom.
Of course, he really did intend to keep the secret. He intended, in fact, to block the entire scene out of his memory. But for Oishi, who worried as a hobby, that was next to impossible.
And so, Oishi made an absolutely devastating mistake.
Eiji noticed the minute Oishi began tapping his pencil on the paper. Oishi almost never fidgeted that way, unless something very important (and usually exciting!) was going on. “Oishi?” Eiji asked curiously. “What’s the matter?”
“Oh!” Oishi looked up at him and smiled unconvincingly. “Nothing. Everything’s all right.”
Eiji crossed his arms and eyed Oishi. “Oishi. Do you really think you can fool me?”
Oishi blinked. Eiji waited. Oishi took in a deep breath, getting ready to talk, then closed his mouth. Eiji tapped his foot impatiently, but inwardly he was grinning. He knew he’d have whatever Oishi was hiding within a minute or two.
Finally, Oishi sighed heavily and rested his head on his hands, looking unhappy. “You’re right. You’re right, Eiji. There’s something going on, and it’s been bothering me all day. But I can’t tell you about it. I made a promise.”
“You can tell me,” Eiji assured him. “I won’t tell anyone, nya! Promise,” he added, holding out a hand so that they could shake on it.
Oishi smiled again, wanly, and grasped Eiji’s hand. “It’s just...Tezuka and Echizen...they’re...” Then Oishi stopped. “No, Eiji, I can’t.”
“That’s okay!” Eiji said, as though he hadn’t a care in the world. “I understand.” He went back to his homework as Oishi stared bleakly at the desk. Inside, he was jumping about with glee. Tezuka and Echizen were...? And Oishi hadn’t told him the whole secret. That meant that Eiji could tell someone else...someone more likely to know what Tezuka and Echizen were doing.
“You shouldn’t worry, though,” Eiji said comfortingly, putting a hand on Oishi’s shoulders. “I’m sure buchou and Ochibi can handle anything!”
“I hope so,” Oishi said, sounding grateful for his partner’s concern.
“Fujiko~!” Eiji sang. Fuji had only turned halfway towards the redhead when he was tackled from behind. Fuji managed to avoid staggering forward, and he laughed at Eiji’s exuberance. “Yes?”
“Guess what,” Eiji said gleefully. “Guess, nya!”
“What is it?” Fuji asked with a smile and a glint of his eyes. Whenever Eiji was this thrilled with a piece of news, it was something excellent.
“But you can’t tell that I told you,” Eiji said in a stage whisper. Fuji glanced around to see if anyone else was in the hallway. They seemed to be alone. “Oishi told me...well, he didn’t tell me, but he did...that Buchou and Ochibi are...” he stopped with a dramatic flourish of his hand.
“That they’re what?” Fuji inquired.
Eiji grinned. “I don’t know!” he announced. “Oishi only said ‘Tezuka and Echizen...they’re...’ and then he wouldn’t say anything else! But he’s worried, Fuji,” Eiji confided. “It’s got to be something big!”
“Oh,” Fuji said, chuckling. “So Oishi must have found out.”
“What? Found out what?” Eiji pounced eagerly on Fuji’s words. “What did he find out? Tell!”
“Tezuka and Echizen are dating,” Fuji said cheerfully. “I wonder how Oishi found out, though. Maybe he caught them in the clubroom. They’re really very noisy in there sometimes.”
Eiji’s eyes were as big as saucers, and then he did a happy little skip-step, unable to contain himself. “Tezuka-buchou and Ochibi are doing that? Really?”
“Yes,” Fuji confirmed. “They are.”
Inui pulled his head back in behind the row of lockers, effectively concealing himself from view once more. “Hmm, interesting...I wonder how long this has been going on. Data suggests...” he consulted his notebook and scribbled something down. “Somewhere between a week and two months.”
Inui’s lips curved up into a terrifying smile. “And I wonder how long it will be before the entire team is made aware of the fact.” He noted something else on the paper, performing a long series of calculations.
Then he realized that there was a way he could be sure of when the entire team would find out. He smiled again, and a freshman glanced sideways at him and rushed away.
“Inui-senpai, you forgot your-” Katsuo began to say, but then Horio exclaimed, “Quiet!” and snatched the notebook away from him.
Katsuo blinked at Horio. “What are you doing?”
“This is our chance!” Horio told him. “We can see all of Inui-senpai’s top-secret data this way! We’ll make regulars for sure with this information!”
“This doesn’t seem right,” Katsuo said anxiously. “We should give it back...”
“We will, once we’re done with it,” Horio proclaimed.
“Echizen!” Horio wailed as he walked into the clubroom. Katsuo and Kachiro were behind him, looking almost frightened as they tried to stop Horio from making a scene.
“Echizen, how could you?” Horio groaned.
Ryoma finished tying his shoe and looked up disinterestedly. “How could I what?” He picked up his racket and tested the strings.
Just then Momoshiro stormed into the clubroom and stalked right up to Ryoma. He demanded, “Is it true?” Kaidoh came in behind Momo and looked disgusted.
“Is what true?” Ryoma asked, starting to get annoyed.
“The rumors!” Momo exploded.
“I haven’t heard any rumors,” Ryoma remarked.
“That’s because they’re about you, you idiot!” Momo cried. “Of course you haven’t heard them!”
“Then are you going to tell me what they are?” Ryoma asked. “If you’re not, get out of my way.”
“Echizen!” Horio was still lamenting loudly in a corner. Katsuo and Kachiro were hovering next to him, evidently unsure whether to comfort him or to shut him up.
“That you and buchou are...are...” Momo made a vague gesture.
“Playing bad charades?” Ryoma suggested.
“No!” Momo said indignantly. “Dating!”
“Oh,” Ryoma said. “Yes.”
“Yes?” Momo asked incredulously. Kaidoh jerked around to stare at Ryoma, eyes wide.
“Well I don’t believe it!” Momo said, practically yelling. “Buchou would never...I mean, you would never! It’s just not possible!”
“Whatever you say, Momo-senpai,” Ryoma said, going back to getting ready.
Tezuka, Oishi, Fuji, Inui, Kawamura, and Eiji walked in to find the clubroom in a state of chaos. Momoshiro and Arai were both yelling at Echizen and Echizen seemed to be ignoring them. Some of the other second years were near the argument, looking uncomfortable. Some of the freshmen were over by the wall, chattering like a bunch of birds. Kaidoh was standing in the center of the room and looking as though he’d gone into a state of shock.
“All of you, quiet!” Tezuka commanded. The room fell immediately silent. “What is going on here?”
“Buchou!” Momo exclaimed, sounding desperate. “It’s not true, is it? You can’t be dating Echizen!”
Tezuka glanced at Ryoma, who shrugged.
Everyone in the room waited, holding their collective breath. “Yes,” Tezuka said. “It’s true.”
The room exploded with sound again, Momo and Horio wailing that it wasn’t true, it couldn’t be true, buchou and Echizen just couldn’t be dating.
Fuji smiled sweetly at Tezuka. “So, what now?”
Tezuka thought that Fuji couldn’t possibly be less helpful if he tried. Then he shook his head; Fuji could doubtlessly be as unhelpful as he wanted to be. Tezuka looked to his right, at Oishi, who was staring, dumbstruck, out at the room.
“I didn’t tell anyone, I swear!” Eiji told Oishi.
Oishi nodded, bemused. Then he glanced at Eiji in even greater confusion. “But I didn’t tell you! Did I?”
“No, Fuji did,” Eiji informed him.
“Fuji knew?” Oishi spluttered.
Tezuka realized that dramatic action would have to be taken if this was to be resolved peaceably. Taking a deep breath, Tezuka said, “Silence!” in his very best I-am-buchou-you-must-listen-to-me voice. And, of course, everyone obeyed. “Yes, Echizen and I are dating.” He stared dangerously around the room. “Does anyone have any objections?” Ryoma grinned at him. No one seemed willing to voice their opinions on the subject, not even Momoshiro.
At that precise moment, the clubroom door slammed shut. “Yes, I have an objection!” Ryuuzaki-sensei was very loud and sounded very angry. “What the hell is going on in here?” Tennis team members scrambled to get out of her way as she marched up to Tezuka.
Everyone turned their eyes away as though the walls had suddenly become very fascinating. Everyone, that is, except for Tezuka, Ryoma, and Fuji. Inui was too busy recording the events to look up. Tezuka looked vaguely uneasy. Ryoma looked defiant. And Fuji smiled.
“Well,” Fuji remarked, sinking to the very depths of unhelpfulness, “at least now everyone knows.”