Master, by kishmet. MomoKai, PG(13'ish), 3,374 words. From samenashi's request: MomoKai; What happens when Momo slips Kaidoh a wacky, untested Inui juice as a joke? Events spiral out of control as Kaidoh suddenly finds himself following Momo's every demand, unable to defy the other boy... Gah. I loved writing this. It still might suck.
The liquid was clear and unassuming in its little vial. Momo shook it and grinned when it bubbled alarmingly. Then he tucked it back into his pocket. He'd been helping Inui clean up an explosion in the lab (a minor one, Inui had assured the science teacher and everyone else), and he'd found this vial right next to a container of bizarre pink juice. The label read Experimental: Effects Unknown, along with a series of numbers.
He guessed that probably meant this one tasted worse than the rest, and he hadn't been able to stop himself from pocketing it. Momo already knew exactly who was going to test the unknown effects of the stuff.
"Here you go," said Momo, holding out Kaidoh's water bottle right after Kaidoh jogged off the court after his game. He'd added just a little bit of the clear liquid to it. He didn't want to kill Kaidoh, after all, just make him uncomfortable and pissed, if possible.
"Thanks," said Kaidoh, looking at Momo suspiciously. He uncapped the bottle anyway, sniffing at it first. Then he took a long drink. Momo had to contain his laughter. Kaidoh was going to start coughing or fainting or something any minute.
Momo was disappointed, though, because Kaidoh just put the cap back on the bottle, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Dammit," Momo muttered softly. The one Inui Juice that didn't do anything, and that was the one he'd ended up stealing!
"What did you say?" Kaidoh asked.
"Nothing," said Momo, with an exaggerated sigh. "Nothing at all."
"Let's go get something to eat," Momo said. That would make him feel better about the prank that hadn't worked.
"Can't, sorry, Momo!" said Eiji cheerfully. He ruffled Ryoma's hair, and Ryoma sighed. "Fuji bought a new movie the other day, and we're going over to his house to watch."
"Oh," said Momo, disappointed.
"No," said Ryoma. Momo shot him a look, wondering if Ryoma knew he didn't have any money. Ryoma pulled down the brim of his cap with a slight smirk. He knew, all right.
"Well, fine. You come with me, mamushi," Momo said. Kaidoh usually wouldn't, because he knew Momo's eating (and paying) habits as well as Eiji and Ryoma.
"Fine," said Kaidoh, and stalked after Momo.
Maybe Kaidoh felt bad for calling Momo a stupid bastard, Momo thought. He'd done that an awful lot today. Whatever; Momo wasn't going to question his good luck.
"Dammit!" Momo made a show of digging through his wallet, then looked pleadingly at Kaidoh. "Pay for me, would you?"
"You were out of money last time!" Instead of crossing his arms and flatly refusing to pay, the way Momo had been expecting, Kaidoh pulled out his wallet. He watched his own hand with an odd expression as it pulled out the money he would need to pay with.
"What's the matter with you?" Momo asked, slightly confused, but not in a bad way.
"I am not paying for you," Kaidoh said through gritted teeth. His hand shook violently, and Momo stood up partway, worried that Kaidoh was dying or something. Kaidoh just put the money on the table, though. His hand stopped shaking as soon as he did that.
"Well, thanks," said Momo uncertainly.
Kaidoh stared at the money. He reached out his hand to take it back, and that hand shook even more violently than before. Momo grabbed his wrist and eyed him intently. "Hey. You okay?"
"No!" Kaidoh shook his head hard. "No. I'm fine. Let's just go."
Momo figured Kaidoh's generous side had been warring with his stingy nature, and Momo was relieved that the generous side had won. Otherwise he would have been in trouble; he already owed a place across town for another meal.
He also figured that if Kaidoh was in a generous mood, he might buy more food. Momo was still hungry, having saved room just in case he spotted something he'd want to eat. "Buy me some ice cream, too," he said as they walked out of the restaurant and passed by an ice cream cart. He was mostly joking. The chances of Kaidoh treating him twice in one day were pretty slim, he'd learned.
To his shock, Kaidoh immediately veered toward the cart, this time shaking all over the way his hand had been shaking before. "What the hell?" Kaidoh demanded, making the cart's other patrons scatter, all of them giving him frightened looks as they went.
Momo shrugged helplessly. "I don't know!"
"One ice cream cone," Kaidoh said to the vendor, his voice stilted and not sounding like Kaidoh's voice at all.
"All right, sir," said the vendor, staring at Kaidoh. "What flavor?"
"Strawberry," said Momo helpfully. If some higher power was making Kaidoh buy him ice cream, as seemed to be happening, it might as well be the right flavor. That was Momo's logic, anyway.
"Strawberry," said Kaidoh. His voice still didn't sound right. He reached for his wallet again, pulling out the money to pay the vendor. He took the ice cream, walked back, and handed it to Momo. He was sweating and tense, his movements oddly jerky and uncoordinated, which wasn't like Kaidoh at all.
"Thanks," said Momo, taking the ice cream and giving Kaidoh a strange look. "What's going on?"
"I can't stop myself!" Kaidoh exploded.
"Oh." Momo had thought as much, actually. "Uh, why?"
"I don't know!" Kaidoh kicked the sidewalk furiously, making more people get out of their way.
Momo wasn't an idiot, though Kaidoh (and certain other people) often accused him of being one. He certainly knew a good thing when he saw it. What he saw right now was that Kaidoh was buying him food, and couldn't stop.
"Hey…" he said slowly. "Buy me a meat bun. No, two of them."
The same way as before, unable to stop himself, Kaidoh did it.
Momo started to realize just how lucky he was.
"Tell everyone you like the name Mamushi," Momo directed the next day in the locker room, reveling in his newfound power. "Tell them they should call you that all the time."
Kaidoh whirled on him. "What did you say?"
"You heard me," said Momo smugly. "If you hadn't insulted me so much yesterday, wouldn't be doing this." After he'd made Kaidoh spend basically all of his money on snacks, Kaidoh had gone on and on, calling him a moron and an idiot and a bastard and worse.
"You idiot," said Kaidoh, furious, taking a step toward Momo as though he was going to kill him. Momo wasn't worried. A single command from him, and Kaidoh would have to stop in his tracks.
"Quit calling me names," said Momo.
"You-!" Kaidoh cut off abruptly with a strangled gagging noise. He slammed Momo against the wall of the clubroom instead. "You are dead," he hissed.
"Kaidoh, Momo!" Oishi hurried over, putting a restraining hand on Kaidoh's shoulder.
"Call me Mamushi," Kaidoh said, then snapped his mouth shut, horrified. The damage had already been done, though.
"Mamushi?" Oishi asked, puzzled. "Kaidoh, I thought…"
"I like that name better." Kaidoh's teeth were gritted together, but he couldn't stop himself from saying it. "Use it!"
"Kaidoh wants to be called Mamushi?" Eiji, who was good at popping up at the most inopportune moments, bounced up behind Oishi and peered at Kaidoh. "Really?"
"Yes," Kaidoh ground out, nodding his head jerkily.
"Interesting," Inui murmured, scribbling something in his notebook.
"Should we call him Mamushi-senpai?" Horio whispered loudly to Katsuo and Kachiro.
Kaidoh looked back at Momo, glaring fiercely at him. Momo grinned. "Have fun, Mamushi-senpai."
"I think I know what did it," said Momo off-handedly, tossing a tennis ball and catching it as they walked down the hallway. "What's making you do whatever I say, I mean."
"What?" Kaidoh didn't sound particularly interested.
"It's that weird juice I gave you." Momo glanced quickly at Kaidoh, but Kaidoh didn't react. "I found it in Inui-senpai's lab, and I put it in your water at practice. You didn't notice, but I guess this one doesn't taste bad, it just makes you obey me. Or, I don't know, whoever you saw first. I've heard of stuff like that before."
"You are so-" growled Kaidoh. He cut himself off this time, without even trying to say the insult. "I should have known you did something stupid." Kaidoh had been insulting what Momo had done, not Momo himself, so it was all right, or so Momo guessed.
"I don't know," said Momo. "I don't think it was too stupid." He gave Kaidoh the most irritating grin he could manage. "It's a lot of fun."
"Fun?" Kaidoh demanded. "You call this fun?" He punched Momo in the face, sending Momo reeling. He'd moved too fast for Momo to do anything about it.
"You want to fight?" Momo lunged at Kaidoh, and Kaidoh dodged. Momo skidded to a stop. "Don't you run away!"
Kaidoh had been leaving, and he stopped in his tracks, almost falling over because he'd been caught off-balance.
"And no punching me, or hitting me, or hurting me at all," Momo added hastily, when Kaidoh came toward him again with murder written all over his face. He tapped his foot. "I wasn't going to do anything, but you deserve it." He grinned maliciously. "Write me a love note, then let me catch you putting it in my locker later today."
"You." Kaidoh shook his head in disbelief. His hand was already reaching into his backpack for a piece of notebook paper and a pen. "You."
"Make it believable, Mamushi," said Momo, before turning on his heel and sauntering away.
Your tennis doesn't suck, and I don't mind playing doubles with you.
Momo read the note through three times. He'd caught Kaidoh's wrist just as Kaidoh was putting the note into Momo's locker, just the way he'd said it should happen. He'd told Kaidoh to make it believable, too, hadn't he?
This was too much believable, not enough embarrassing love note. In a way, though, it was more embarrassing than any of the stupid sappy crap girls were always sending.
"What's that, Momo?" Eiji draped himself over Momo's shoulders, trying to get a look at the paper Momo was holding.
Momo quickly crumpled the note and shoved it into his pocket. "Uh, nothing, Eiji-senpai." He looked around. Kaidoh was already gone.
"I didn't show anyone the note."
Kaidoh didn't reply to Momo's whisper. He went on watching the game between Eiji and Ryoma.
"Did you mean that stuff?" Momo asked. "I mean, that my tennis doesn't suck and that you don't mind playing doubles with me?"
When Kaidoh still didn't say anything, Momo was forced to resort to drastic measures. "Tell me if you meant that stuff."
"Sometimes," said Kaidoh, without looking at Momo. Momo thought that this was not one of those times when Kaidoh meant it.
"Kaidoh. Oishi." Tezuka, of course, wouldn't use the nickname Mamushi, regardless of what Kaidoh told him. "You'll be playing a game on A court."
Now Kaidoh glared daggers at Momo, waiting for him to say whatever he was going to say. As much as Momo loved the whole power trip, he knew what Kaidoh would and wouldn't forgive. He'd forgive a few burgers and he'd forgive the widespread usage of the nickname Mamushi. He would not forgive Momo for messing with one of his games.
Momo clapped Kaidoh on the shoulder. "Play your best out there."
Startled, Kaidoh nodded. "I'd do that anyway," he said finally. Momo could practically hear the unspoken dumbass at the end of the sentence.
"Go, Mamushi-senpai!" shouted Horio.
"That was a good game."
"I know." Kaidoh kept packing his tennis things. Momo didn't know if Kaidoh was being so slow on purpose, and he didn't know why. He forged ahead anyway. "I didn't think you'd be able to beat Oishi-senp-"
"Of course I did," Kaidoh snapped at him. "You told me to play my best. I did."
"Uh, yeah." Momo rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, looking away. "But you would have played good anyway," he offered meekly.
Kaidoh had gotten to his feet and was right in Momo's face before Momo even knew he was moving. "Would I?" he snarled.
"Yes!" Momo yelled, shoving Kaidoh in the chest. "Yes, you would have! Okay? It had nothing to do with the stupid order. Happy?"
Kaidoh shoved him back so hard that Momo stumbled backwards. "No!" He blocked Momo from getting away. Both of them were breathing hard, glaring at one another, their faces centimeters away from each other.
They were so close. Kaidoh smelled like sweat, and like the tennis courts, and like the locker room itself. "Kiss me," said Momo abruptly, his voice low and hoarse.
Kaidoh didn't even hesitate to obey this order, the way he'd tried to do before. He did what Momo commanded, jamming their mouths together like they were still fighting, which they sort of were. Their teeth banged against each other, but Momo didn't care. Kaidoh forced him back against the wall, pinning him there with his body.
Momo groaned into the kiss. It seemed like Kaidoh was attacking him with his tongue, which maybe he was if he didn't want to be doing this, or maybe even if he did. His hips jerked forward of their own accord. With nowhere else to go, they ground against Kaidoh, who, Momo noted dimly, was just as hard as he was. That made him feel better.
He broke away, panting, vaguely aware that this couldn't possibly be right when Kaidoh had to do whatever he said. As soon as he pulled back, Kaidoh looked down at the ground.
"Look at me!" Momo said, desperate to know what the hell Kaidoh was thinking.
Kaidoh's head snapped up violently, and his eyes met Momo's. He looked just as confused as Momo felt, but madder. It took a minute before Momo realized that Kaidoh wasn't so much as blinking. "Uh, stop looking at me," said Momo. Kaidoh's head snapped down just as violently so that he was staring at the floor again.
"Shit." Momo just wasn't equipped to deal with this. It was great as a prank. As jokes went, this one had been absolutely spectacular.
It wasn't really a joke anymore.
"Go home and do homework or train or, or whatever you'd do," said Momo awkwardly, then repeated, "Shit!" He didn't want to watch Kaidoh obey the order. He bolted from the room, slamming the door behind him.
He had to do something. Momo knew that if he didn't do something, and right away, he wouldn't be able to sleep or do homework or think or anything. So he called Kaidoh.
"Hey, Kaidoh." Momo carefully avoided the name "Mamushi" in case it would make the situation worse. Not that it could get much worse.
"What do you want?" Kaidoh asked sullenly.
"Look, if you're not busy and if your parents are okay with it and everything, come over here. To my house." Momo waited, nervous, as the silence on the other end of the line stretched on and on.
"Fine. I'm on my way." Kaidoh hung up immediately after saying this. Momo wondered if that was a good sign or a bad one.
"What do you want this time?" Kaidoh flung his backpack onto the bed. "A blowjob?" he spat. Momo knew he was really mad, because Kaidoh normally never said anything like that.
"No, listen!" Momo slammed his books angrily on the table to make Kaidoh shut up and hear him out. "I called you over here because I hate this."
"I couldn't tell," Kaidoh snarled. "I thought you loved it."
"No! Well...I did," Momo admitted. "I guess I did, for awhile. But, like…" he lowered his voice until he could barely hear himself, and mumbled, "Like, when you kissed me, I didn't know whether you wanted to do it, or if I was just making you do it."
"What?" Kaidoh asked.
"I want you to pick whether to kiss me or not, okay?" Momo said in a rush, louder than necessary. "And it's not the same when you hit me, either. It's like you really hate me, and you never really hated me before. Did you?"
Kaidoh rolled his eyes. "That's a stupid question."
"Did you?" Momo wouldn't take that for an answer.
"No," Kaidoh muttered. "I didn't."
"Okay," Momo said, satisfied. "Then I guess we have to figure out how to get rid of this thing."
"You'd really do that," said Kaidoh, eyeing Momo skeptically. "I don't believe you."
"No, I mean it!" said Momo. "I just, uh…I don't know how to fix it. Maybe we should ask Inui-senpai?"
"No!" said Kaidoh. "We're not telling anyone."
"We'll just have to figure it out by ourselves, then," said Momo. "Jeez. You'd think you didn't want to get rid of this stupid thing."
"Of course I want to get rid of it!"
"Well, duh," said Momo reasonably. "You just sounded like you didn't. Do you have any ideas?" he said, before Kaidoh could argue with that.
"No," said Kaidoh.
"What if we just wait until you pee it out?" Momo said. That seemed like such a ridiculously obvious answer that he thought it could work.
"That would have happened already," said Kaidoh. "Don't you pay any attention in class?"
"Only if I can't sneak food in," said Momo. "Then I kind of have to listen, or be bored."
"Tch." Kaidoh looked disgusted, then gave Momo a sharp look. "I can't disobey you. Right?"
"Right," said Momo. He was getting hungry, and he wondered idly if he should send Kaidoh down to the kitchen to get him a sandwich. He decided against it. That would just make Kaidoh madder, plus they didn't have any ham left.
"Then just tell me to stop obeying you," said Kaidoh.
"Really?" asked Momo. That sounded stupidly simple again, which made him hopeful that it would be a good solution. "You think it'll work?"
"I don't know," Kaidoh said impatiently. "Try it."
"Stop doing everything I say," said Momo.
Kaidoh thought for a second, then shook his head. "No. That just means you can order me around sometimes."
"Well, that could be-" Momo began. He stopped, seeing the murderous look on Kaidoh's face, and shrugged sheepishly. "I mean, I wouldn't mind."
"If course you wouldn't, moron," Kaidoh snapped. Then he looked happy, probably because he could call Momo names again. Momo was starting to rethink this whole thing, but he reminded himself why he was doing it. He liked Kaidoh (sort of, and he'd never admit it anywhere but in front of Kaidoh, and sometimes not even there), and even if Kaidoh had to act like he liked Momo back, it wasn't the same thing.
"Stop following my orders forever," said Momo, looking at Kaidoh questioningly. "That better?"
"It's…no." Kaidoh shook his head again. "You'd still be able to control me, just by telling me what to do. Then I couldn't do whatever it was."
"Okay. Stop following my orders, forever, unless you feel like doing whatever I say." Momo stopped and gave Kaidoh a look. "Happy now?"
"Yes," said Kaidoh. "I think."
Testing out the loss of his powers, Momo said, "Kiss me. Gently," he added, just in case the juice was still working.
To his surprise, Kaidoh did it. He grabbed Momo by the front of the shirt (but gently, as specified), and pressed his lips to Momo's, sliding his tongue against Momo's lip until Momo reciprocated, and then keeping the kiss up until Momo was dizzy for lack of air.
"But…then…" Momo said dazedly, trying to catch his breath once Kaidoh quit. "Then that stuff is still working. What should we do? I told you we should talk to Inui-senpai about-"
"Shut up, idiot." Kaidoh smacked him in the arm. "I did that because I felt like it."
"Oh. Oh." Momo suddenly grinned, and not just because he'd remembered that he still had a whole vial of that juice in his pocket. "Kiss me again, mamushi."
This time, Kaidoh smacked him in the head.