Lockdown, by kishmet. MomoKai, PG, 3,226 words. From the request I, uh, requested, from samenashi: Momokai; the two boys are in the locker room (alone) getting changed, when someone calls in a bomb scare. The entire area is put into lockdown. Kaidoh punches angrily at the door, but it won't open. They're trapped... trapped together. Other than that, I have absolutely no comment about this fic and disclaim all responsibility for it.
"Would you hurry up!" Momo tugged at Kaidoh's sleeve. "You're so slow."
"I'm not slow!" said Kaidoh, pulling on his jeans.
"You are," said Momo. "Everyone else left already."
"You should leave, too," Kaidoh muttered. "Why are you still here?"
"I was being nice and waiting for you," said Momo. "I guess I shouldn't be nice anymore."
Kaidoh snorted. "You're never nice anyway."
"I am right now!" Momo stalked over to the other side of the room, as far away from Kaidoh as he could get. He thought about leaving, but he didn't have any money on him and Eiji-senpai was going somewhere with Fuji-senpai, so he didn't have anyone else to pay for him. Kaidoh was his last hope. He decided not to leave after all.
"Attention, Seishun Gakuen students and faculty."
The announcement came over the rarely-used loudspeaker system. Momo jumped when he heard it, and then felt stupid. Luckily, he'd glanced over quickly and seen Kaidoh do the exact same thing. Momo laughed and socked him in the shoulder. "You idiot. It's just the public announcement system thing."
"Moron!" Kaidoh punched him back. "Shut up and listen."
During their squabbling, the speaker had repeated the call for attention, probably to make sure that they actually were paying attention. Now it moved on to something else. "Within the last hour, a bomb threat was called in for Seishun Gakuen and surrounding area. We will proceed with lockdown of all facilities immediately. There is no cause for alarm, so please don't panic. All students and faculty, remain where you are for the duration of the lockdown, and please stay away from the windows. Thank you for your cooperation. We will give you all more information as it comes to us."
There was a moment of static, and then silence.
Momo stared at the speaker for a second. "Lockdown? What the hell does that mean?"
There was a loud click from the direction of the door that sounded suspiciously like the lock being turned, even though it was supposed to lock from the inside. Maybe that electronic thing on it did more than flash and look fancy. Momo looked at Kaidoh. "Uh...do you know what the hell's going on?"
"Of course I don't!" Kaidoh snapped. "What do you think, that I was the one who called in the bomb threat?"
All of the lights suddenly went off, which was weird because Momo thought that was for aerial bomb threats. Anyone on the ground could still see the building just fine.
"Oh shit," said Momo, suddenly absorbing the information. He sat down hard on the bench behind him, landing directly on the sandwich he'd been saving for later. He felt a pang of regret, but he could always eat it even though it was squished. "Oh shit, we're going to die. We're going to blow up and die."
"We are not!" Kaidoh marched over to the door. He tried turning the knob. Then he tried turning it harder. Then he tried wrenching it. "Shit!" He slammed both fists against the door so hard that the sound echoed through the locker room. Momo winced. That must have hurt. Kaidoh turned around slowly to look at Momo. "It won't open."
"Oh shit," Momo moaned, leaning over to hold his head in his hands. "What kind of school would trap us here to die in an explosion? It's like they want us dead, maybe they were the ones who called in the bomb thing to begin with, maybe-"
"Shut up," said Kaidoh. "Shut up!"
"I did," said Momo. "Oh shit, we're going to die. I'm going to die in here with you."
"Open the door!" Kaidoh shouted at the ceiling.
The P.A. system stayed obstinately silent, and the door stayed obstinately shut and locked.
Kaidoh stalked over to the corner of the room farthest from Momo and sat down, staring at the floor. Momo hardly even noticed. He was too busy mumbling about conspiracy theories.
"This is stupid."
Kaidoh ignored Momo and went on staring at the floor. He'd been doing it for fifteen minutes straight, which was longer than Momo's attention span for almost anything. Momo stood up, walked over and tried the doorknob, and then walked back to his bench and sat on it again. "This is stupid and boring," he said, testing.
Kaidoh kept on ignoring him.
"This is stupid and boring and I'm hungry," Momo whined. "If we ever get out of here, I'm going straight to Taka-san's and eating everything, and then I'm going out to get some burgers and fries and maybe some ice cream and-"
"Shut up!" Kaidoh finally snapped at him. "Just shut up."
"It's more boring if I can't talk!" Momo protested. "And it's boring if you ignore me all the time. What the hell's your problem, anyway?"
Kaidoh glared at him but didn't get up from his corner. Momo wondered why. Usually all that would have been enough to get Kaidoh to at least throw a punch. "We're going to be blown up and you're worried about being bored. You are so stupid."
"Why do you care?" Momo asked. "I mean, we haven't been blown up yet and you won't talk and it's boring. Oh, hey," he said, brightening. He scrounged around in his jacket pocket until he came up with the crushed remains of his sandwich. It wasn't too bad, although there was peanut butter and bits of lunch meats leaking out the sides. He waved the sandwich in Kaidoh's direction. "Want half?" he asked, which was incredibly charitable of him given the situation. It might be the last food he ever ate.
"No, I don't want half," Kaidoh muttered.
Momo shrugged. "Fine. Suit yourself." He opened the sandwich bag, and then he paused and gave Kaidoh a sharp glance. "Hey, you're not..."
"You are!" said Momo, suddenly not quite as interested in his sandwich and not quite as bored, either. "You're scared!" He went over to Kaidoh and poked him in the shoulder. "Come on. Admit it. You are. You're scared that we're going to die in a huge explosion, and little pieces of us are going to be scattered all over the-"
In retrospect, it had been pretty obvious that Kaidoh was going to tackle him and start hitting. At the time, Momo could only wonder what he'd ever done to deserve it, and attempt to crawl away with his face intact.
"I'm not speaking to you," Momo said sulkily from his own corner. Actually, he'd been not speaking to Kaidoh for about fifteen minutes, but he thought he should probably tell Kaidoh what he was doing so Kaidoh wouldn't get the wrong idea.
"Good," said Kaidoh absently.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Momo asked, getting to his knees so that he could see better. It didn't count as speaking to Kaidoh if he was just alleviating his curiosity. "Are you doing homework?"
Kaidoh didn't answer right away. Momo heard the scratch of a pencil on paper. "Hey!" he said, more loudly, just in case Kaidoh thought he could ignore Momo because Momo wasn't speaking to him. It occurred to him that he could go over there and see, but he already had a bruised leg and a cut on his face, with no way to patch them up. It didn't seem smart to get within arm's reach again.
"What do you want?</i>" Kaidoh muttered.
"I just want to know what you're doing, that's all."
"Homework," said Kaidoh.
"You really are?" asked Momo in disbelief. "I mean...really?"
"Yes, moron," Kaidoh snapped. "What else am I supposed to do?"
Momo's amazement changed to anger in a split second. "You mean you won't talk to me or anything, but you'll do homework?" Momo demanded. "You'd rather do homework and then get blown up than talk to me?"
"We're not going to get blown up," Kaidoh retorted, apparently having gotten over his fear of the bomb that had, as yet, made no appearance whatsoever. "But yes. I would."
"Why?" Momo asked indignantly.
"Because everything you say is stupid," said Kaidoh.
"Not everything!" said Momo, then thought about what he'd said. "I mean, nothing! I say smart things all the time. Maybe it's just that you're too dumb to understand what I'm saying."
Kaidoh didn't answer him. Momo heard the pencil scratching again, and didn't think it meant that Kaidoh had acknowledged his intellectual superiority. "Hey! I'm talking!"
There was still no response from Kaidoh, and Momo decided that he was too hungry to push the matter at the moment. He'd practice not speaking to Kaidoh some more while he ate the sandwich he'd almost forgotten.
"Look, I'm doing homework too." Momo waved his math notebook in Kaidoh's direction. "And ignoring you."
"If you're ignoring me, then shut up."
"I was going to, but then you told me to shut up and I had to answer you, mamushi," said Momo triumphantly. "See, it's your fault I'm still talking."
Kaidoh really was better at not speaking to someone than Momo was, which was absolutely infuriating. Momo thought about chucking the notebook at Kaidoh's head, but that notebook had his homework assignment in it and there was no way he'd remember to do it if Kaidoh destroyed it. Then again, he guessed he'd have a good excuse for his teacher if Kaidoh did rip the notebook apart ("My crazy friend tore it up!" he pictured himself saying), and he wouldn't have to do the homework at all.
Momo decided that Kaidoh wasn't reliable enough, though. Chances were that Kaidoh would just pitch the notebook right back at him, which would be useless. So he turned to the page with the homework on it and ripped a strip of paper off the top. He scrunched it up into a ball and then had a second brilliant idea. He set the balled-up paper on his palm, closed one eye, and then flicked the paper at Kaidoh. It fell short by quite a bit. Momo crept unobtrusively forward and tore another piece off to try it again. This time the paper ball landed right next to Kaidoh's leg.
"Almost got it," Momo whispered gleefully.
Kaidoh glanced up. Momo gave him an innocent grin. Kaidoh scowled. "What are you doing?"
"What, me?" Momo looked around as though there were other people in the room. "Oh, right. Nothing. Just, uh, math homework."
Kaidoh still looked suspicious, looking at the corner where Momo had been. "Why'd you move?"
"Jeez, you have to give me the third degree about everything?" Momo crossed his arms. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm, uh...." he tried to remember something Inui had said. "I'm triangulating angles in order to calculate the, uh, greatest possible velocity of a...thing."
"Moron," Kaidoh said, and snorted.
Momo had felt almost sorry for interrupting Kaidoh up until then. Now he felt not even a trace of remorse as he took careful aim and flicked the paper. It hit Kaidoh right in the head.
Kaidoh looked up quickly. "What was that?"
"What?" Momo asked, doing a good job of sounding confused. "I didn't see anything."
"Something hit me in the head," said Kaidoh.
"Oh, well, I dunno." Momo shrugged. "Maybe you're imagining things." Kaidoh eyed him, and then snorted again and looked back down at his homework. Momo wondered just how much homework Kaidoh was going to do. It felt like they'd been in here forever.
Momo quietly ripped off another piece of paper, crumpled it, and sent it on the same course as the last one. It, too, landed on Kaidoh's head. Both pieces of paper stayed there, too, since Kaidoh wasn't moving. This one got absolutely no reaction from Kaidoh, though. Momo frowned. He did the same thing with another paper strip. Again, there was no satisfying reaction. This time, Momo tore out the whole rest of the page, crumpled it, and aimed, getting ready to throw it.
"You stupid bastard!"
Well, crap. Momo guessed that Kaidoh had been waiting to catch him in the act. He lowered his hand and tried another innocent look, but it did him no good. Kaidoh tackled him, Momo yelped, and they rolled around on the floor. "Ouch!" Momo said, when his head banged into the leg of a bench. "Shit!"
"Dammit!" Kaidoh banged his elbow against a locker and seemed to think it was Momo's fault, because he socked him. Momo flailed at him and landed a punch of his own, and it turned into an all-out fistfight.
"You're so stupid," Kaidoh muttered.
"No, you are," said Momo.
It was impossible to keep up a fistfight for very long when there was no one to stop you and when you didn't have any food or water and you were stressed and tired from tennis practice, Momo thought. It was probably a good thing, because otherwise they would've killed each other.
Right now they were back-to-back on the floor, sweating and bruised. "Hey," said Momo. "Are you going to stop ignoring me?"
"Only if you stop throwing paper at me," said Kaidoh.
"I was only doing that because you were ignoring me," said Momo.
"Fine. I'll stop," Kaidoh growled. "Happy?"
Momo thought about that one for a minute. "No."
Kaidoh grunted in a way that meant he agreed. He leaned his head back against Momo's and they sat there for awhile in disgruntled silence.
"You know, you should've eaten part of the sandwich," said Momo randomly.
"I'm not hungry," said Kaidoh, but Momo knew that he was lying from the way his stomach kept on making weird grumbling noises. Of course, his own stomach was doing the same thing, so it was hard to tell. Momo wished he hadn't eaten the whole thing in one go.
"It's hot in here," Momo groaned from where he was sprawled on the relatively cool floor.
"They turned the air conditioning off," said Kaidoh.
"Those idiots." Momo turned over so that he was on his stomach. "Maybe they really are trying to kill us."
"They are not," said Kaidoh, but he didn't sound like he meant it. He started stripping off his shirt.
"What are you doing?" Momo asked curiously.
Kaidoh looked at him like Momo was the stupidest person he'd ever met. "It's hot," he said. "I'm taking my shirt off."
Momo brightened. "Good idea!" He sat up and started peeling of his own shirt, tossing it away once he finally got it over his head. "That's better," he said with a sigh of relief. He looked over at Kaidoh, who was sitting and staring into space. His shirt was off, and his bandana had gotten lost during their fight.
"Wow," said Momo.
Kaidoh looked at him. "What?"
"You look good."
"I look what?" Kaidoh asked incredulously.
"Good," said Momo. He scooted over until he was next to Kaidoh, so that their knees touched. Kaidoh looked like he was going to pull away, but then he didn't. Maybe he didn't have enough energy. "Like, all your muscles and stuff. It looks good, and your hair's down and whatever."
"Don't be weird," said Kaidoh. "I'm not a girl."
"Yeah, I know," said Momo. "I mean good in a guy way."
"Fine," said Kaidoh, satisfied.
"It's kind of boring in here." Momo looked around. He'd been in the locker room a thousand times. It didn't take him long to get sick of it. "There's nothing-"
"You look good too," Kaidoh said abruptly. Momo blinked at him. "In a guy way," Kaidoh amended.
"Yeah," said Momo. "Cool."
"I don't mean anything weird," said Kaidoh.
"I know," said Momo. "I didn't either."
All of a sudden, Kaidoh leaned over and pressed his lips against Momo's, just like that. Momo made a surprised noise that got muffled by Kaidoh's mouth. His first thought was that Kaidoh was such a hypocrite for telling Momo not to be weird. His second thought was that maybe it wasn't so weird after all, since he'd seen Fuji-senpai and Eiji-senpai kissing the other day, and they were both guys, sort of. His third thought was basically nonexistent. Kisses had a way of doing that, he found, especially when they were completely unexpected.
"Moron," Kaidoh mumbled, for no reason whatsoever.
Momo stuck his tongue out, or meant to, but sticking his tongue out right now meant that it went into Kaidoh's mouth. That was even weirder, but Momo didn't complain and neither did Kaidoh. At least being in here wasn't boring anymore.
If they hadn't been quite so busy, one of them would have heard the commotion and sound of footsteps outside the door. As it was, Kaidoh was too busy undoing Momo's pants to notice, and Momo was too busy having his pants undone. Neither of them heard or paid attention when the P.A. system crackled back to life, either. "Attention, students and faculty. In light of new information, it's been concluded that there was a misunderstanding. Lockdown will be discontinued immediately. Thank you for your cooperation and patience."
Although the lights had turned off after the door had locked itself, apparently someone had changed the order of operations. The door clicked open, and there was a sudden flood of people into the locker room, starting with Eiji, who exclaimed, "Momo! Kaidoh!" and launched himself at them without looking first.
"Eiji, wait!" Oishi snagged the back of Eiji's jacket. Then they both stared, along with everyone else, it seemed, from the entire school.
Naturally, the second he'd heard the voice Momo had broken away and scrambled as far from Kaidoh as he could possibly get within two seconds. Kaidoh had done the same, so there was at least a meter between them. Unfortunately, Momo's pants were halfway down, both of their shirts were off, and neither one of them had leapt for safety soon enough.
Once recovered from the initial shock, Eiji doubled over with laughter. "You...two!" he said, pointing and dissolving into another fit. Then he added, just in case anyone had missed what Momo and Kaidoh were doing, "They were making out!"
Kaidoh turned redder and redder, at least Momo assumed he did. He refused to look in Kaidoh's direction. "So, uh..." he began lamely, "The bomb threat's over, huh?"
"Actually..." Oishi started to say.
"Eiji-senpai and Fuji-senpai called it in," said Ryoma helpfully, sipping at a can of Ponta that Momo sort of wanted. He was thirsty. "As a joke."
Eiji laughed even harder. Fuji looked perfectly serene and innocent, as though he would never dream of calling in a false bomb threat, which obviously meant that he would and had. "I'm so sorry," Fuji said, hiding a smile. "I had no idea that they would think we meant a bomb."
Momo decided it was better not to ask what Fuji had intended them to think. Well, it was sort of worth it, anyway, Momo thought to himself, and only realized that he'd said it out loud when Kaidoh's fist connected with his cheek.
He might have deserved the punch in the face, and maybe the whole school now knew that Momo and Kaidoh had been making out in the locker room. But Fuji and Eiji bought them dinner every night for a week afterward, Seigaku was never actually blown up, Kaidoh would occasionally make out with him in the storage shed, and Momo never did get in trouble for not doing his math homework.
It was all good.